Sidenotes

I went to a wedding reception yesterday evening (on a Sunday, yes, I know). There was no coat check, but there was a rack to hang coats on. I hung it at a specific spot so I would remember where I hung my coat. When I went to go leave for the evening, someone had taken my coat! I can understand that some coats look similar, but didn't the person put it on and realize it wasn't there coat? Unless they're the same body size, have a coat in the same shade of gray, and have the same stick and flavor of chapstick in the right pocket.... Bloody hell. So annoying. Whatever, it's an excuse to go look for a fly new coat. Things happen for a reason - maybe it was just time for me and the coat to part ways. I did love it so.

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And a totally dumb thing that happened to me this morning. I have an average 30 minute train ride. When I catch the express it's a little less and when it's the local it's a little bit more. Either way, not bad. It's better than driving into Newark during rush house every morning. I have a chance to review for class or to catch a quick nap. Today, I chose the latter. When I do choose to nap on the train, it's a half sleep - more like rest for my eyes. I wake up every few minutes and check what stop we're at. This morning, I was doing the same, just as I've done. For some reason, the last time I wake up, I look out the window, we're stopped at Newark. I look up, the train's empty. I'd just passed out and hadn't woken up until some random announcement at the train station! I gather my things and go to walk out, and the door to exit the train is shut. Luckily, one of the ticket-guys was walking towards me and I caught his attention. He looked at me like I was a total idiot, even before I explained how I was still on the train. "I passed out and no one woke me." He continued to look at me like I was a total idiot. He then popped a key into some hole near the door and opened it up for me. "You're lucky this train wasn't headed towards thd yard." Yes, thank you, Mr. Train-Man, for making me feel so much better.

And now I'm sitting in Contracts. Oh happy day.

This'll teach those Firangees!

Rajasthan officials have composed a guide of Do's and Don't's for tourists traveling in Rajasthan so that they can respect local culture. This freakout occurred after a couple of incidents where travelers were doing their thing and the aunties had a fit. An Israeli couple got married in a Hindu wedding and kissed at the end. Oh holy hell! If no one thought of telling them ahead of time, and they ended up kissing, couldn't someone just say, "Hey, that's not cool, man." And then the pundit would know to maybe give a heads up to future couples wishing to marry that they shouldn't smooch when it's over. Here are a few tidbits:

• Men should never touch women in public, even to help a woman out of a car,
  unless the lady is very elderly or infirm
• In Indian culture... men socialise with men, and women with women
• Married couples in Asia do not hug, hold hands or kiss in public. Even embracing at airports and train stations is considered out of the question
• Generally it is improper for women to speak with strangers on the street and especially to strike up a casual conversation
• Drinking alcohol or smoking in public, no matter how innocent, are interpreted as a sign of moral laxity and are not acceptable.

Maybe they should put out guidelines for Bollywood movies first.

When you assume....

You make an "ass" out of "u", but alas, contrary to the proverb, I won't let you make an ass out of me.

I've had to deal with a lot of men these days assuming more than they should. And for some reason, my friends have had to deal with this same type of men as well. Men, as a favor to us, and to yourselves, here are a few tips:

-Don't assume we want to sleep with you.
-If we've slept with you, don't assume we want to sleep with you again.
-Don't assume that we're cool with you telling us what we can or cannot do, especially if you don't like someone else doing that to you.
-Don't assume we're sitting by the phone waiting for your call because we already know you're not doing the same.
-Don't assume that we don't like you just because we don't greet you at the door naked with a condom in hand.
-Don't assume that we want to marry you tomorrow because we told you we dig you today. Women can like going with the flow too.

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As for me, personally - I just don't like being pushed. I like a confident man who can be aggressive, but I don't like being pressured or forced into anything. I enjoy going with the flow, and letting things occur naturally. I pick up on lines or setups extremely quickly. I started talking to this guy (in this whole matrimonial setting) who I've never met. Cool guy, but he's the flirty type- which is cool, but he expects me to return the flirting. I'm affectionate, and flirty, but I don't even know him. What would I be flirting with? What is he flirting with, for that matter? He'll set up opportunities for me to be flirty, or try to force the flirting, and then when I don't he sounds like he's getting extremely frustrated with me.

For example, we had a conversation that went like this:

Him: What're you upto?
Me: Just finishing up some studying.
Him: Oh, I thought you were going to say you were thinking about me.
Me: ..................................

and.... scene.

or here's one:

Him: We haven't spoken in a few days, what've you been upto?
Me: I know, I'm sorry - I've just been swamped with studying and this writing assignment I have due this week. I've been a recluse.
Him: You couldn't take time for me from your studying?
Me: I just cut myself off - I really had to get this stuff done.
Him: Oh...
Me: School comes first, man.
Him: But I thought I thought I was more important than studying.
Me: ......................... Nope.
Him: Oh.

aaannnnd....... scene.

I know he was trying to flirt, but don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. Dang. Or if you're going to flirt, then at least do it with something non-serious. Do I sit there and say, I know you were busy working the emergency room, but why didn't you take time from work for me? Some guys like that nakhra and girls being all whiny. I can't roll like that. If I like you, and you like me, then let's do this. That's all. You were busy- cool, I understand. Just understand when I am too, that's all. Building friendships and relationships take effort, but they also require understanding. If this guy from above had called me in the days that I didn't call him, I would have absolutely gotten in touch with him and just given him a heads up. I'm usually the one to reach out to someone, (if we don't talk for a couple of days, I'm usually the one to reach out and drop an email or make the call), but I'm tired of always being the one to reach out and being understanding when other people are busy and then having everyone turn around and not cut me some slack when I'm trying to take care of business and don't have time to be up on the phone until 3 in the morning one night.

Anyhow, here's

Today's object of:

Affection: Lehmber Hussainpuri.

I saw him perform this weekend at the ZeeTV Bhangra competition in NYC. Great vocal talent. His turban was gangster, and he wore a pink kurta and chaadra with some ill Punjabi juthees. (I'll write tomorrow about the competition itself.) I know his shine's worn off in the UK, but I still like listening to him.

Hateration: Skinny girls with bad posture.

Just put your freaking shoulders back. You look wierd, dammit.

I hope everyone's doing well.