When you assume....

You make an "ass" out of "u", but alas, contrary to the proverb, I won't let you make an ass out of me.

I've had to deal with a lot of men these days assuming more than they should. And for some reason, my friends have had to deal with this same type of men as well. Men, as a favor to us, and to yourselves, here are a few tips:

-Don't assume we want to sleep with you.
-If we've slept with you, don't assume we want to sleep with you again.
-Don't assume that we're cool with you telling us what we can or cannot do, especially if you don't like someone else doing that to you.
-Don't assume we're sitting by the phone waiting for your call because we already know you're not doing the same.
-Don't assume that we don't like you just because we don't greet you at the door naked with a condom in hand.
-Don't assume that we want to marry you tomorrow because we told you we dig you today. Women can like going with the flow too.

****

As for me, personally - I just don't like being pushed. I like a confident man who can be aggressive, but I don't like being pressured or forced into anything. I enjoy going with the flow, and letting things occur naturally. I pick up on lines or setups extremely quickly. I started talking to this guy (in this whole matrimonial setting) who I've never met. Cool guy, but he's the flirty type- which is cool, but he expects me to return the flirting. I'm affectionate, and flirty, but I don't even know him. What would I be flirting with? What is he flirting with, for that matter? He'll set up opportunities for me to be flirty, or try to force the flirting, and then when I don't he sounds like he's getting extremely frustrated with me.

For example, we had a conversation that went like this:

Him: What're you upto?
Me: Just finishing up some studying.
Him: Oh, I thought you were going to say you were thinking about me.
Me: ..................................

and.... scene.

or here's one:

Him: We haven't spoken in a few days, what've you been upto?
Me: I know, I'm sorry - I've just been swamped with studying and this writing assignment I have due this week. I've been a recluse.
Him: You couldn't take time for me from your studying?
Me: I just cut myself off - I really had to get this stuff done.
Him: Oh...
Me: School comes first, man.
Him: But I thought I thought I was more important than studying.
Me: ......................... Nope.
Him: Oh.

aaannnnd....... scene.

I know he was trying to flirt, but don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. Dang. Or if you're going to flirt, then at least do it with something non-serious. Do I sit there and say, I know you were busy working the emergency room, but why didn't you take time from work for me? Some guys like that nakhra and girls being all whiny. I can't roll like that. If I like you, and you like me, then let's do this. That's all. You were busy- cool, I understand. Just understand when I am too, that's all. Building friendships and relationships take effort, but they also require understanding. If this guy from above had called me in the days that I didn't call him, I would have absolutely gotten in touch with him and just given him a heads up. I'm usually the one to reach out to someone, (if we don't talk for a couple of days, I'm usually the one to reach out and drop an email or make the call), but I'm tired of always being the one to reach out and being understanding when other people are busy and then having everyone turn around and not cut me some slack when I'm trying to take care of business and don't have time to be up on the phone until 3 in the morning one night.

Anyhow, here's

Today's object of:

Affection: Lehmber Hussainpuri.

I saw him perform this weekend at the ZeeTV Bhangra competition in NYC. Great vocal talent. His turban was gangster, and he wore a pink kurta and chaadra with some ill Punjabi juthees. (I'll write tomorrow about the competition itself.) I know his shine's worn off in the UK, but I still like listening to him.

Hateration: Skinny girls with bad posture.

Just put your freaking shoulders back. You look wierd, dammit.

I hope everyone's doing well.