The Good Lord blessed me with big feet

but not a big.....

I'm a female, though, so it's cool.

So, I really like Friendster and MySpace. I know it's nerdy and corny, but I'm on a lot of those sites actually - like Hi5, Orkut, and The Names Database. But I really only use Friendster and MySpace on the regular. It's been an interesting way to connect with people I've lost touch with over the years and to meet some intriguing people as well. And it's a great way to meet wierdos too, FYI. Over the summer, I connected with this cat out in Wisconsin, DJ Pain from Extortion Entertainment because he'd put a bulletin out in this one group on Friendster looking for Punjabi singers. I haven't sang for him yet, but I did have a chance to put some of my writing out there by reading a poem of mine over his intro track. Pain is an awfully cool cat, and, though his forte is down-tempo and hiphop, he's also randomly into various types of desi music- Bollywood, South Asian underground, Bhangra, etc. He created an album called "Bollywood Ka Bacha" under the guise of his Punjabi alter-ego, R.K.S. If you listen to it, you'll hear some crazy old school Bollywood tracks with new flavor. You'll also hear some of El Guante's mc'ing - El Guante is also from Extortion Entertainment, and is a skilled mc. You don't hear a lot of those anymore. AND, if you check out Bollywood Ka Bacha, you can also hear me speaking on the intro track. :)

I really do love music. I can't get away from it. I love singing, (I would just sing all day if I could), but at this point, the only public venues that I've sang at have been limited to kirtans, kitty parties, cultural programs, and school functions. There's always been something holding me back. Perhaps it's a fear of leaving myself vulnerable and open to criticism. Hey, if I'm singing/writing for myself, there's only one critic I have to please. Perhaps it's an awareness of what the lifestyle tends to be like - and knowing the ramifications in terms of my family. I have a certain role that I'm meant to fulfill - it can feel stifling at times. I'm very much my own person, (sometimes too much of an independent thinker), but I feel sometimes that I lead a dual life. Not that I'm a different person, or that my personality differs depending on whether my parents are around or not, but moreso that I'm aware of what my family expects of me, what they understand about me and my personality, and why they feel how they feel, and this guides how much of myself, and my feelings, I do or don't share with them. My life has brought me to many different people involved with music in one way or another, and, being a firm believer in things happening for a reason, I've come to the realization that there will always be a part of me that is unsatisfied unless I actually have some substantive connection to it. It's intimidating; I'm still a youngin' in the general scheme of things, but when you look at the music industry, more specifically, artists in Punjabi music (singers, dholis, etc.) coming out of the US, many artists have gotten a much earlier start. If anything, whether they're any good or not, they have experience at marketing themselves as writers, singers, musicians, etc. I do my own thing - I've usually shied away from doing that, except when it came to dancing. I've just enjoyed singing/writing more by myself, and have tended to be shy towards marketing myself as such. My mom tends to be my unsolicited marketing consultant, especially at kitty parties. Some aunty will come downstairs, and shriek, "Deepaaaa!! You're mom's calling you!!" Ugh, what song shall your performing monkey sing for you today, aunty? It feels wierd. I sing best when I'm by myself, driving in my car, (his name is Shera) - I have nothing holding me back. I'm working on it though. Baby steps. Sometimes you just have to bite your lip and go for it. Life is too short - if you see an opportunity, and you feel in your gut that it's right, why not go for it? I know I'm not absolutely horrible - what do I have to lose? When I see others I know pursuing singing, or having a bite at the apple, part of me feels jealous. There's a bigger part of me that feels disatisfied with myself for not having taken any action towards pursuing what I'm already aware will make me happy. If I've written up to this point, whether it's a story, a song, a shayr, or whatever, I've tended to keep what I know to be the best of my writing to myself. There are some rare occasions where I decide to open up and put it out there. But again... baby steps. The only thing holding me back is me. I'm hoping to take bigger and bigger steps as each day passes. No one else can do it for me.

But who knows where my life will take me? I'm so happy in law school. Maybe I'm meant to be in entertainment law. I haven't started seriously considering it yet, but I've decided to explore it. Maybe I'll be a transactional lawyer and buy a record company like some lawyers.... maybe I'll end up as a civil rights attorney by day and lounge singer by night...
I've gotten some good feedback on the track I did with Pain - I've actually decided to start maybe putting more of my writing out there, and maybe even try my hand at songwriting....

Stay tuned!

Today's object of:

Affection: Coffee.

You're like an abusive boyfriend. You're so bad for me, but you make me feel soooo good.

Hateration: Unreliable people.

F.U.

Call me artsy, but you best not call me fartsy

because that's mean. And ignorant.

Anyhow, I was randomly checking out of the Indo-American Arts Council website, www.iaac.us , because I'm a nerd, and was excited to see that they have a couple of events coming up that I am ecstatic about. Not just because of the events themselves, but because I may actually get to attend.

I'm a semi-artsy-fartsy type of woman who enjoys the random artsy event. However, I'm also a broke law student. Therefore, I can usually only afford to know about the events and pass the word on to those who have 1. more time than I do and 2. a positive cash flow.

The first event coming up is in the first week of November. It's the Fifth Annual IAAC Film Festival. Check out the schedule: http://www.iaac.us/fifthannual_film_festival2005/Schedule.htm

The films that piqued my interest include Highway Courtesans, Born into Brothels, (ignore any inclination to look for a pattern), Kaya Tharan, and Continuous Journey/Runaway Grooms.

The majority of the films being played throughout the festival touch upon some subject/facet of the human condition that is perhaps easily looked over and not given the acknowledgement it deserves. I'm truly excited. Even though I'm still a hardcore American Desi fan, ("Hey Kris! You want to go to the Indian Club Meeting tonight? 7:30 pm!"), I'm glad to see that there are more than a few South Asian filmmakers out there that have the ability and desire to make a film with a point. Chutney Popcorn was cool and all, but movies like it and AD ended up leaving the door open for vomit residue like Namaste. Did you see it? If you didn't, don't. If you did, I feel your pain. We seriously don't need another fish-out-of-water, discovery-of-my-roots movie with a name made up of one really "American" term and one Desi-ish term to fuel the facade that either culture is appropriately represented. All you get is a bunch of fobs pretending to be confused Americans trying to distract us from their pronounced Delhi accents with their bad acting, dancing, and wardrobe. "Real" desis think us Amreekans are ignorant, slutty, mean to our parents, can't speak any language but English, and don't date other desis because they make us face the fact that we're not white.

We get it.

STFU... panchod.

Ok, focus. The other sweet event is "An Evening with Javed Akhtar". No, not that way, nasty. But for fifty bucks I should at least get some cheese cubes and a handjob.
http://www.iaac.us/JavedAkhtar/ja_schedule.htm
I guess I'll have to see about this event as the date approaches. Fifty dollars is a Contracts supplement and a set of flash cards, you know? Can those of lesser income not have a love for the arts? I suppose not. Well, maybe they charge that much because they'll be serving their drunken goat cheese with Keebler crackers *and* Ritz crackers. Or maybe they want to keep the riffraff out. Because riffraff know who the f Javed Akhtar is....

Right.

My Inaugural Post - Hoorah!

So.... I've never been much of a fan of "blogging"; in fact, I'm one of "those" who would joke around and say, "hehe blog *this*." I tried doing the LiveJournal thing. Something about it just didn't do it for me. It didn't inspire me to blog often at all. But whatever. What's past is past.

So what do I wish to share/discuss/rave about/rant about on this blog? Random thoughts on objects of my obsession, namely music, Punjabi culture, sex, poetry, Canadians, worldly things, humanistic things, funny things, fobby things, sexy things, sexy fobby things, existential things, superficial things, philosophy, gender roles, dance, religion, some hippie crap, law, television, and Punjabi music. (List subject to change.)


Today's object of:

Affection: In Living Color.

I happened to click over to BET around 11pm last night, and *gasp* I came across In Living Color! Sweet, sweet satisfaction!! I missed you, Homey the Clown! My eyes sought out JLo from her pre-Selena days, when she was just a budding, Mexican-looking Rosie Perez protegé (in terms of dancing, sheesh). My efforts were in vain. The episode was from the first couple of seasons. JLo didn't really add anything to the show, I was just looking for her for kicks. I actually prefer the earlier seasons. I was a wee babe when the show originally aired, but I enjoyed it then, and I enjoy it even more now. 80% of the former cast has gone on to bigger and better things- we've all seen their growth and the extreme progression of their careers. But, if you made me pick, I would still take a Homey the Clown or Fire Marshall Bill sketch over an episode of My Wife and Kids or an airing of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on tv any day. *sigh* I miss it.

Hateration: Juggy D.

Some folks consider this fella the cat's pajamas. I won't say he's awful. I'll just think it. (Kidding.) Well, let me put it like this - that pop sludge doesn't really do it for me. I don't want to dance to it, and I can't vibe to it, and I can't lose myself in it from any angle. If I dissect it, I can sometimes find a beat I can tolerate. But then I have to ignore his voice, poorly pronounced Punjabi, and consistently bad/shallow lyrics. I feel like all he does is write down the words "nach", "sohniye", "aja", "karda", and "dil", on scraps of paper, stick them on the wall, and throw numbered darts at them, so he can arbitrarily combine them into lyrics for his next song. He probably has his mummy fill in the gaps. Everyone has a dance/catchy song whose lyrics may be basic, but, this seems to be a consistent formula that dear Jug-a-Loo follows. However, it's apparently working for him; the general music-buying population tends to eat up processed pop music, no matter what language it's in. Now, I concede that there are other pop artists whose work I do consider much worse than Jugger-Bugger's. The eyes in my head may roll backwards when I listen to his lyrics, but his tunes can still be catchy, even though I'll scold myself if I find one of his tracks stuck in my head. But I don't know what it is about him- something makes me hate on him much more than the others. I can easily recall mentioning to a couple of my buddies/acquaintances in the PMI (Punjabi Music Industry), and to, well actually, pretty much anyone that the topic came up in the presence of, that I couldn't stand Juggy McJuggerson. Actually, what I specifically have said on more than one occasion is, "Juggy D's a fag." I said that once to someone who was a buddy of his - I realized this after I'd made the statement, of course. The guy just had this look on his face, and said, "Um, but why do you think so?" And I explained, even once I figured out that Juggles the Clown was, at the very least, an acquaintance of this person's. I still didn't care. Because I'm a badass. What is JugDeep going to do to me? I think I could beat him in a fight. I hear he's little.

Ok, Juggy D, let's make a bargain- I won't mind you making music so much if you'll consider not singing or writing the lyrics so much.... deal? Booyaka.